Should I?

Or shouldn’t I?

We often find ourselves at difficult crossroads. 

“Play the tape forward” is a common cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) technique often used in addiction recovery. Still, it can be helpful for anyone trying to make behavioral changes or decisions, and it’s essentially a form of mental visualization or forecasting.

Here’s how it works:

When confronted with a decision, particularly a potentially harmful one, you mentally “play the tape forward” to envision the potential consequences of that decision. 

For example, suppose you’re tempted to drink alcohol after being sober for some time. In that case, you play the tape forward by imagining the immediate pleasure of drinking – and also the adverse outcomes — such as feeling hungover, experiencing regret, damaging relationships or job prospects, or jeopardizing your sobriety and health.

Be as specific as possible in your visualization.

The more detailed you are, the more powerful the exercise will be. For example, you might imagine going to the liquor store and buying a bottle of wine. You might imagine yourself opening the bottle and taking a drink. You might imagine how the alcohol would make you feel physically and emotionally. Or how lousy you’ll feel the next day. 

Once you’ve played the tape forward, reflect on what you’ve imagined for a few minutes. How did it make you feel? What did you learn from the exercise?

Playing the tape forward can often help you see the negative consequences of giving in to your cravings. This can make it easier to resist temptation in the future.

Playing the tape forward can help you make more mindful, informed choices by allowing you to consider both short-term gratification and long-term consequences. 

Here are some additional tips for using the “playing the tape forward” technique:

  • Be as specific as possible in your visualization. The more detailed you are, the more powerful the exercise will be.
  • Focus on the negative consequences of giving in to your cravings. This will help you to stay motivated to resist temptation.
  • Practice the exercise regularly. The more you use it, the more effective it will become.

This method can be used for any kind of decision-making, not just in the context of addiction. It’s a valuable tool for weighing the potential impact of actions and behaviors.

Other CBT techniques to consider

If you find the “play the tape forward” technique helpful, there are several other CBT techniques that you may want to explore:

  • Cognitive restructuring: This technique involves identifying and changing negative thought patterns or beliefs contributing to unhealthy behaviors or emotions.
  • Mindfulness: This practice involves focusing on the present moment and accepting things without judgment.
  • Exposure therapy involves gradually exposing yourself to situations or stimuli that trigger anxiety or fear in a controlled and safe environment.

Finding the techniques that work best for you and your unique situation is essential.

Consider working with a therapist or mental health professional to develop a personalized plan for managing difficult decisions and behaviors.

Photo by Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

Ever felt a spontaneous yearning to pack your bags and go? A compelling urge to explore the unseen, untouched corners of the world?

That’s wanderlust, my friends.

What is Wanderlust?

The word “wanderlust” is a charming fusion of the German words “wander,” meaning to hike or roam, and “lust,” meaning desire.

The Appeal of Wanderlust

There are many reasons why people experience wanderlust. Some may crave adventure and new experiences, while others may seek a break from their routine. Others might still seek a deeper understanding of different cultures or a spiritual connection with the world around them.

The Science of Wanderlust

Studies have shown that travel can positively impact mental health, including reducing stress and improving mood. It can also lead to increased creativity and more significant personal growth.

Unpacking the Psychological Theories Behind Wanderlust

The Biophilia Hypothesis

Ever wondered why a simple walk in the woods can feel so rejuvenating? Edward O. Wilson’s Biophilia Hypothesis suggests humans inherently desire to connect with nature. This evolutionary bond drives us towards exploration and fuels our wanderlust.

The Self-Determination Theory

According to psychologists Richard Ryan and Edward Deci, we’re driven by three fundamental psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Travel empowers us with a sense of independence (autonomy), the opportunity to learn and adapt (competence), and the ability to form meaningful relationships with others (relatedness). Our wanderlust might be our subconscious desire to satisfy these core needs.

The Curiosity-Interest Model

This theory suggests that our urge to travel is sparked by curiosity. It’s our intrinsic desire to discover, understand, and predict the unknown. Does the thought of an exotic location pique your interest? That’s your curiosity, and possibly wanderlust, talking.

The Brain’s Reward System: Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin

Our wanderlust also has some pretty fascinating chemical roots. Ever felt a rush of excitement when planning a trip or stepping off a plane in a new place? That’s a burst of dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked with reward and pleasure. Travel can also boost levels of serotonin (associated with well-being) and oxytocin (the love or bonding hormone). These hormones work together, making us feel happier and more connected, thus perpetuating our desire to travel.

Wanderlust: A Rebellion Against Societal Constraints?

Sometimes, wanderlust is our spirit’s response to societal norms and constraints. Do you feel tied down by routine or societal expectations? Craving adventure could be your way of seeking an escape or expressing individuality. Traveling allows us to break free, shake things up, and live on our own terms – even if just temporarily.

Reaping the Psychological Benefits of Satisfying Wanderlust

Beyond the joy of seeing new sights and meeting new people, travel is packed with psychological perks. It can boost our mood, reduce stress, and stimulate creativity. It’s also an avenue for personal growth and self-discovery. As we navigate different places and cultures, we learn more about ourselves, our strengths, our values, and our place in the world.


Wanderlust is not merely a desire to break routine or see new places; it’s deeply rooted in our evolutionary history, innate psychological needs, and individual personalities. The next time you feel that irresistible itch to explore, remember it’s not just you wanting to roam.

Your nature, curiosity, and desire for self-fulfillment guide you toward new horizons.

Where’s your wanderlust taking you?

Sometimes, the hardest part is admitting to ourselves that we are stuck.

Photo by Mahdi Bafande on Unsplash

You feel trapped. Every move you attempt to make is met by some wall – real or imagined.

The barrier could be a dead-end job, a bad relationship, or a feeling of lack: financial, spiritual, or plain old malaise.

I’ve personally had these feelings. It’s not fun.

You lay awake at night trying to put the puzzle pieces together that will solve ‘the problem’ — only to wind up in the same place the next day. (Pro tip: 3am is not the time or place for problem-solving.)

You need to get ‘unstuck and unf$%#d’.

It is a frustrating experience, but remember — it’s not a permanent state.

Let’s dive in and explore some practical ways to get unstuck and start moving forward:

Recognize That You’re Stuck

It sucks that we’re not progressing in the ways we’d like, whether in our careers, personal lives, or other areas. The first step of change is always the hardest. Go ahead and admit to yourself that you are stuck.

Confirming this reality is the first significant step towards freeing yourself. Look out for signs such as feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, or feeling overwhelmed.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s okay to have mixed feelings about change. Acknowledge and accept your emotions rather than trying to suppress them. This is a healthy part of processing change and moving towards acceptance.

Identify What’s Holding You Back

It’s essential to identify what exactly is holding you back. Fear of failure? Uncertainty about the future? Lack of motivation? A toxic environment? This identification process should be easy — but this exercise may cause you to discover other things about yourself or your problems that may have been simmering under the surface. Once you’ve pinpointed the issues, you can begin to address them head-on.

Learn from Past Changes

This can be a tricky one for some people. Some of us use the past as a crutch or an excuse for why their life isn’t better. This is a recipe for disaster.

Reflect, but don’t dwell on past changes in your life. What did you learn from those experiences? How did you adapt and grow? Use these reflections to build confidence in your ability to navigate future changes.

Set Clear, Achievable Goals

Without a clear direction, it’s easy to feel stuck. That’s why setting goals is so important. Your goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This approach will give you a clear path and a sense of purpose as you work toward your objectives.

Gola setting shouldn’t be empty wishes.

‘Losing weight’ is not a goal, it’s a concept, and its neither specific or measurable.

‘Lose 25 lbs in a week’ is niether realsitic or obtainable.

‘Lose 25 lbs by your friends wedding in October’ is more realistic and acheivable.

Embrace Change

Often, we’re stuck because we’re unwilling or afraid to embrace change. However, change is a part of life and is often the catalyst that propels us forward. So, lean into it. Embrace the new experiences, opportunities, and people that come your way.

Develop a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset, a term coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that skills and intelligence can be developed with effort, learning, and persistence. This mindset encourages embracing challenges, persisting in the face of setbacks, and seeing effort as the path to mastery. You’re less likely to feel stuck if you perceive challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.

Use the Power of “Yet”

When faced with a difficult task, remind yourself that you may not be able to do it “yet.” This small word is powerful because it implies that growth and learning are on the horizon. It shifts your perspective from a fixed mindset (“I can’t do this”) to a growth mindset (“I can’t do this yet, but I can learn”).

Practice Self-Care

When you’re feeling stuck, taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being is more important than ever. This means eating healthily, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, and taking time for activities you enjoy. These actions will improve your mood, boost your energy levels, and provide you with the resilience needed to tackle your challenges.

Sometimes, we’re our harshest critics. It’s important to remember to be kind to yourself. If you need a day off, take it. Watch your favorite movie, eat your favorite meal, and do what makes you happy.

Seek Support

It’s okay to ask for help. Reach out to trusted friends, family members. They can provide a fresh perspective, advice, and the emotional support you need to get unstuck.

if youre not comforatble sharing your issues with friends and family, a tele-health counselor or professional coach may give you the insights you’re looking for. They can give you unbiased information, opinions and a fresh persepctive to help move you on your way.

Take Action

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, take action. Even small steps can start to break the cycle of feeling stuck. Don’t wait for the perfect moment; it will never come. Instead, make the moment perfect by taking decisive right now.

Feeling stuck in life is something that happens to everyone.

It’s not a sign of failure; it’s a sign that it’s time for a change. As you work on yourself, keep these thoughs and pactices in mind:

  • Practice Gratitude: Stay grateful for what you already have. Being thankful attracts more abundance.
  • Believe: Have faith that you can achieve your dreams. Believe in yourself and your abilities.
  • Patience: Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t expect instant gratification. Keep working hard and be patient.

By acknowledging the issue, identifying the causes, setting clear goals, embracing change, and taking action, you can break free and start moving forward again.

Here’s to getting unstuck and turning the page to a new chapter.

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

“Win the morning, win the day.”


The quiet. Stillness.


This is the time before the rest of the world is up, so make it your own.

There’s a feeling of accomplishment watching the sunrise — like you’re arriving before anyone else.

Whether you’re a ‘wake at 4 am’ person or a ‘snooze the alarm’ type, having a healthy morning routine can be important for mental and physical health.

A consistent morning routine can help regulate the body’s natural circadian rhythm, improving sleep quality and being more restful. And we all know we need better sleep.

A good morning routine can also help reduce stress and anxiety by providing a sense of structure and predictability, and can help to set a positive tone for the day. Knowing what to expect and having a plan can help to reduce feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty.

It also gives you an opportunity for self-care and self-reflection.

Here are a few simple habits to incorporate into your AM routine to supercharge your day.


Whether you wake with an alarm or just ‘greet the day” when your eyes open — don’t touch that phone. Don’t put on the tv or radio, or playlist. Instead, take a moment to enjoy the silence that the morning brings.

Hydration before Coffee

Before your morning coffee or tea, drink at least 8–16 oz of water. You may not feel it, but you’re dehydrated when you wake, losing hydration as you sleep. Water also boosts your energy levels and mental alertness.

Some health ‘experts’ say you should wait at least 120 minutes to drink your coffee to hack your cortisol, but I’m not a freak — I’m enjoying that first cup right after I hydrate.

Meditation and Affirmations

If you’re too busy to meditate, you’re exactly the person who needs to meditate. Some of us wake to a jolt of anxiety (raises hand), and meditation helps quiet the mind and get you mentally ready for the day ahead.

Take a moment before you start your day to breathe. Many apps can help you get started with meditation, and I highly recommend Insight Timer. It’s free and offers meditation tools, music, and courses; a paid plan provides more extensive courses.

Affirmations are an excellent way to put your brain in a positive state for the day. As an anxious person, I always thought this was a bit silly, but it works. I keep a list of affirmations on a note on my phone and look to them as part of my morning routine.


The last thing we want to do is leave our cozy beds and get up and exercise. But even some simple stretches get the heart going and help the body shake off the grogginess from sleep.


Journaling (either on paper or electronically) is a great way to unburden and offload your mind before the day sweeps you away. I have been journaling for about 15 years, and it is interesting to go back and see how much of your life has changed — or not — which helps you figure out what might need changing in your life.

I have been using DayOne (an electronic journal) for the past 12 years, and it helped me to see where I’ve been and how I’ve grown. It’s also great for preserving memories, as you can add photos, videos, and audio clips.


Exposure to sunlight in the morning can help regulate the body’s natural circadian rhythm, improving sleep quality and contributing to overall well-being. Sunlight helps to suppress the production of melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleepiness.

During the winter months, we folks in the northeast don’t have the luxury of walking outside to get a burst of sunlight in the morning. The lack of Vitamin D causes many of us to suffer from seasonal depression (or SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder). Treatment for SAD may include light therapy (phototherapy), psychotherapy, and medications. A good sunlamp can help.


Reading in the morning can have several benefits for mental and emotional well-being.

Reading helps to reduce stress and promote relaxation. It provides an escape from daily stressors and allows you to focus on something enjoyable and engaging, which can help reduce anxiety and promote calmness.

Reading in the morning can stimulate the brain and improve cognitive function, and it can help increase focus, attention, and concentration, enhancing productivity and mental performance throughout the day.

Reading in the morning can improve mood and increase feelings of happiness.

Who doesn’t want to be happy in the morning?

I’ve been an avid reader my whole life. Depending on what you read, books can transport you to another place, giving you a sense of calm, or inspire you to be your best self.

Make Your Bed!

This one may seem either obvious (hello, fellow OCD people) or silly, but making your bed can help cultivate a sense of discipline and attention to detail. Plus, what would you want to come home after a hard day and see your bed in disarray?

You can incorporate some or all of these life-changing habits into your mornings. If you feel overwhelmed, start small; pick one and see how you adapt. You’ll be surprised at how these small habits will change your perspective on the day.

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Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

The world today is a scary place. Feelings of anxiety and overwhelm can derail your week and lead to some unhealthy habits (which only makes things worse).

Here are a few common sense tips for when you’re feeling ‘over your head’.

Go for a Nature Walk

Walking helps clear your mind and gives you a different perspective. Walking in nature has been shown to impact mental health for several reasons positively. The natural environment is often less stimulating and more peaceful than urban environments, which can help to reduce stress and anxiety. Additionally, exposure to nature can increase feelings of well-being and improve mood. Studies have also suggested that spending time in nature can reduce symptoms of depression and improve overall cognitive function. Walking itself can also be beneficial for mental health, as it can be a form of exercise associated with improved mood and reduced stress.


I cannot stress enough how helpful journaling is. I have been journaling for 11 years, and it’s fascinating to see how much life has changed. Start small — just a few sentences. Set a timer and just write what’s in your head for a few minutes. I journal in the morning using an app called DayOne (if you’re like me and don’t relish the fact that someone can see all the things I’ve said after I’m gone, this might be the route for you)

Journaling has been found to impact mental health for several reasons positively. Writing about one’s feelings is linked to decreased mental distress. A study found that those with various medical conditions and anxiety who wrote online for 15 minutes had a decrease in mental distress. t also can help you to understand and cope with the symptoms day-to-day.

A Little Self-indulgence

Take a day off! Go to a museum or any other favorite place. Treat yo’sefl! A day of self-indulgence can be beneficial for mental health for several reasons. It can serve as a form of self-care essential for maintaining overall well-being. Engaging in pleasurable and relaxation activities can reduce stress and anxiety and improve mood. Additionally, indulging in something that one enjoys can boost self-esteem and confidence. It can also provide a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, which can be especially important if you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out.

Self-indulgence should be balanced with other forms of self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep. Also, self-indulgence should not be a way to cope with negative emotions but rather a way to appreciate and treat yourself. Keep in mind the context and ensure that you are indulging in moderation and not overindulging to the point of harming your mental or physical health. (Example: Having a drink with a friend = Good. Having 15 drinks = is not so good.)

Give of Yourself

Giving and being kind causes positive emotions to arise. Giving to others can increase feelings of empathy and connectedness, improving overall well-being and reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Additionally, giving can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment, boosting your self-esteem and self-worth.

Research also suggests that giving can activate the release of the “feel-good” hormone oxytocin in the brain, leading to increased feelings of happiness and contentment. Additionally, helping others can lead to a shift in perspective, which can help reduce stress and negative emotions.

However, it’s important to note that the benefits of generosity can be significantly enhanced when it’s done voluntarily and with no expectation of reciprocation and when the act of giving is associated with personal values and goals.

Be mindful of your own boundaries, and make sure that you are not giving more than you can comfortably afford or taking care of yourself.


Go deeper into what is troubling you. You’ll learn something about yourself and may be able to help someone else in the future. Learning also provides a sense of accomplishment and personal growth, which can boost self-esteem and self-confidence. Additionally, learning new things can keep the brain active, which can help to reduce the risk of cognitive decline and improve overall cognitive function. Research also suggests that engaging in mentally stimulating activities, such as learning, can help to reduce the risk of developing mental health conditions such as depression and dementia. Learning can also provide an opportunity to develop new skills, leading to better job opportunities and greater control over one’s life.

Moreover, Learning also provides a sense of mastery and control over your environment, which can benefit mental health. It can also offer an escape from negative thoughts, give a sense of distraction, and be a form of self-care.

Make a List

Consider your areas of strength. Make a list of 10–20 skills you possess. This introspective list may help you address some of your concerns.

Having a list of tasks can help break down large and complex tasks into smaller and manageable parts, making them feel less overwhelming.

Additionally, making lists can provide a sense of accomplishment and progress as tasks are completed and crossed off. This can boost self-esteem and self-confidence. It can also be a form of self-reflection that can help you better to understand your own thoughts, feelings, and priorities.

Making lists can also help to improve memory and recall, as it allows you to see visually what needs to be done, which can be helpful for people who are forgetful or have a hard time remembering things.

Research also suggests that writing things down can help to reduce the number of negative thoughts and worries and also can help to reduce the risk of developing conditions such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.


Pick up that old hobby. Do you like puzzles? Fishing? Putting little wooden ships on bottles? You get the idea. Hobbies are a great stress reliever.

Hobbies provide a sense of accomplishment, personal growth, and purpose, which can boost self-esteem and self-confidence. They can also provide a way to relax and de-stress.

Hobbies also provide an opportunity for socialization and connection with others who share similar interests. Engaging in activities with others can provide a sense of belonging and can be a form of social support.

Hobbies can also provide an opportunity for self-expression and creativity, which can be beneficial for mental health. Engaging in creative activities can provide a way to process emotions and be a form of self-care.

Clean and Fix up Your Space

Set a timer and clean something you’ve been putting off in your house. The task will be done, and you’ll be proud of yourself.

A clean and organized environment can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. Clutter and disorganization can be overwhelming and make it difficult to focus and relax. A clean home can provide a sense of calm and order.

Cleaning can also be a form of physical activity that can boost mood and reduce stress and anxiety. Research suggests that engaging in physical activity can help to improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Cleaning can also provide an opportunity for mindfulness. Engaging in cleaning tasks can be a way to focus on the present moment.

Have a Good Cry

No, really. Just let it all out. How wonderful you’ll feel afterward will amaze you.

Crying is a natural and healthy way to express emotions. Holding in emotions can be overwhelming and lead to sadness, frustration, and anger. Crying is a way to release these emotions, which can provide a sense of relief and can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. It can also be a way to process and cope with difficult emotions, which can benefit mental health.

Crying can help us understand our emotions better and accept them as a normal part of life.

Avoid Negative Self Talk

The mind is a fertile field; if you keep piling it on with rotten thoughts, those thoughts will become a part of you. Love yourself.

Negative self-talk can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth. Negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can be internalized and lead to a negative self-perception. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and depression.

Negative self-talk can also lead to increased stress and anxiety. Negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can lead to increased worry and fear, which can be detrimental to mental health.

Negative self-talk can also lead to a negative self-fulfilling prophecy! Negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can lead to a lack of motivation and make it difficult to take positive action. This may be harmful to your mental health and prevent advancement in both personal and professional spheres.

Negative self-talk can also lead to social isolation and relationship problems. Negative thoughts and beliefs about oneself can lead to a lack of confidence and make it difficult to form and maintain healthy relationships.

I hope you enjoyed these 10 tips on how to clear your troubled mind. These are just a few things you can do to get out of your own head, even if it’s only temporary. If you have any other recommendations, please share in the comments. And if you liked this post, subscribe and follow for more content like this.